new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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