i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
