All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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