some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think i got beer on your cat.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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