the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
