I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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