Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
