Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
