I skipped work to stalk him.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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