What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
