JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
