The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
