Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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