You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
