would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
