They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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