Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
