you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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