....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
