The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
