My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
