The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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