so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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