It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
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bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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