dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
