Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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