I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
