she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had sex on a roof
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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