We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot