dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Small penises have feelings too.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
