So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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