Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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