So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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