never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
