Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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