I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
