Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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