? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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