Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
