I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
