A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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