OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
