We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
