why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
