Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This baby is an asshole
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
