i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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