Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
