Fuck appropriateness.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
