my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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