Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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