WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
