How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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