You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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