you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
