Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
