anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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