i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
