Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
