I wish life had little blips of pornography
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
