i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
