THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
